Going on a prayer walk with Brother Owl

My wife and I moved to a new city to help our son and daughter-in-law take care of our new grandson.  We are glad to be here for them but we did leave behind some special brothers and sisters in Jesus in our former city.  We have found a couple of good churches here but haven't really made connections yet.  I have become a Catholic Christian and my wife is a non-denominational Christian, hence the two churches but I go with my wife to her church in addition to mine.  So far I am a lector (reader of Scripture) at my parish and I get to read about once a month. And we haven't gotten involved in any long term small groups yet.

So I have been feeling rather lonely without any Catholic brothers and sisters to share the journey with.  I decided to start doing prayer walks at my Catholic parish, St. Francis of Assisi, after my wife went to bed.  It is a beautiful church up on a ridge overlooking the valley below and you can see for miles, north and south.  And, of course, it has a statue of St. Francis of Assisi in front of it who is famous for many reasons way beyond Catholic circles.  One of the things he is known for is his solidarity with all of God's creation and creatures so if you see a statue of a monk with animals around him and birds on him you can safely guess that statue is one of St. Francis.

So my first night up there at dusk, I was walking around the church parking lot praying the rosary and offering up prayers for people I know and for our world in general.  While I was at it, I talked to God about my loneliness.  No sooner than I finished praying about that I hear an owl call and an owl comes swooping in and lands on a gazebo near me.  For the rest of my prayer walk, as I moved around the parking lot and the church grounds praying, the owl kept flying and landing near me.  Smiling, I thought how Franciscan God's answer to my prayer about loneliness was and I said, "Nice touch, God" and the ache in my heart receded.  So I named the owl, Brother Owl, although it very well could have been "Sister Owl".  A biologist I am not.

I truly am not alone even when I feel so.

What I learned about friendship while meditating on the anguish of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Jesus knew the cruel ordeal he was about to face.  Rejection, murderous rage, flogging, beatings, gleeful ridicule, mocking, searing pain, brutal labor and lingering, agonizing death and on top of it all becoming sin for us and nailing our sins to the cross.  So Jesus goes to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray about it and takes his three closest disciples with him (Peter, James and John).  It is apparent from the accounts in Matthew, Mark and Luke that Jesus desired them to join him in his prayer vigil, to keep watch with him and pray.  Jesus was very troubled, in anguish, sorrow, anxiety, literally in "agonia".  Luke records that Jesus sweat great drops like blood.  The writer of Hebrews in chapter 5, verse 7, was probably alluding to this time when he says, "...Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death..." (RSVCE)

And what were Peter, James and John doing?  Sleeping.  Luke does add that it was for or because of sorrow.  They were worn out.  I'm sure they wanted to participate in the vigil but they couldn't, they didn't have it in them.  And to make matters worse fear gets the best of them and they all flee when Jesus is arrested and Peter ends up denying he even knows Jesus three times.

And so as I was meditating on this, the thought came to me.  And how did Jesus respond after these colossal failures on their parts?  He didn't give up on them, he forgave them, he poured out the Holy Spirit on them and he entrusted his church to them.  They were still his friends.

Now he already knew they were going to fail him in the time of his greatest need because he told them they would over their denials.  In other words, he had realistic expectations.  And yet, his realistic expectations didn't mean that he didn't share with them and give them the opportunity to come through for him.  He invited them to keep watch with him.  Nor did it mean that their failure didn't hurt Jesus.  Because he chides them saying, "Could you not watch with me for one hour?" and "Why are you sleeping?".

Often we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses, our children, our families, our friends, our co-workers, our leaders and people in general.  And we over-estimate our own faithfulness and strength.  And so we tend to either write people off when they fail us or we never give them the opportunity to disappoint us by keeping them at a distance and not even inviting them to keep watch with us.  We often expect people to be God for us.  Jesus didn't and doesn't do that.  He has realistic expectations, he still gives us new opportunities to join him and keep watch and he is still our friend, brother, Lord and Savior.  And he knows how we feel.  And his Father is still there for him and for us.

May Jesus help us to be like him.

Where to start in praying - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18

We can read about prayer until we are blue in the face but what really makes the difference is when we start talking to God the Holy Trinity on a regular daily basis.  For me, I have to be honest, it started when I was received into full communion with the Catholic Church and entered the life of the Church including her prayers.  To me, it was entering into a life and rhythm of prayer for the Mass, the liturgy, the Sacraments, the doctrines and all the other prayers and aids to prayer that are geared towards making my whole life a prayer in union with Jesus Christ and His Church.  So the life of prayer in my experience is both private and corporate.
 
It was after I became a Catholic that I started praying the rosary where each day I meditate on the meanings of 5 events in the lives of Jesus and Mary and then apply those meanings to my life and my prayers.  There are 20 events in total and they are grouped into 4 themes or characteristics.  The events are called mysteries because their meaning is deep and there is always more to be discovered as God reveals them.  Typically I am involved with God in prayer for an hour or more per day through this prayer as well as other prayers and the Mass.

I understand my Protestant brothers and sisters have difficulties with Mary because I used to have them myself.  And the rosary is not the only prayer that one can use to help lead them into a habit of daily prayer talking and doing life together with God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

There are plenty of prayers in the Psalms and the Old and New Testament as well as hymns and spiritual songs and the prayers of our brothers and sisters to help us get started and provide a segue into our own prayers.  There is a resource called the Liturgy of the Hours that combines all of these elements into various daily prayers to be prayed at different times throughout the day.  There is also the prayerful reading of the Scriptures which the Catholics called the Lectio Divina which a lot of Protestants are now using.

My concern is to help people who are experiencing difficulties in moving from knowing a lot about God to actually knowing Him through a life of prayer.  Why?  Because I've been there.

So develop a plan of prayer using these resources that God has provided and begin your journey into His heart today.  Please be aware that it will not be easy.  As you are learning and memorizing prayers it will often seem tedious at first but that will begin to change if you turn your heart towards God as you pray them.  Also be aware that the enemy of our souls and his hosts do not want us praying and so they will oppose us to try and stop us..

I will be praying for you.  And I will try to post resources as I find and develop them.

May the Chief Shepherd of our souls lead you ever deeper into the love of God.  Amen.

Please feel free to leave comments on my blog or to e-mail me at howardsdsu75@gmail.com if I can assist you in anyway as you develop a prayer life with God.

Prayer in the Catechism - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18

Part 4 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Christian Prayer, begins with a startling revelation from John 4, the story of the woman at the well.  I have included 2 paragraphs below.

2560    “If you knew the gift of God!” The wonder of prayer is revealed beside the well where we come seeking water: there, Christ comes to meet every human being. It is he who first seeks us and asks us for a drink. Jesus thirsts; his asking arises from the depths of God’s desire for us. Whether we realize it or not, prayer is the encounter of God’s thirst with ours. God thirsts that we may thirst for him.

2561    “You would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” Paradoxically our prayer of petition is a response to the plea of the living God: “They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water!” Prayer is the response of faith to the free promise of salvation and also a response of love to the thirst of the only Son of God.

The startling revelation for me was that God thirsts for us.  I had never thought about God thirsting for us all, and especially not for me.  Jesus thirsts for me that I might thirst for Him.  God's love poured into my soul through this truth and I was lost in grateful wonder for a couple of hours.  What an invitation to prayer!  God passionately longs for us to come to Him.

No wonder that James states with such certainty in James 4:8, "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."  And I have found this statement to be true, especially when I tarry before the Lord through prayers, like the rosary, that keep me in prayer.  God shows up.  He reveals things to me as I meditate on the mysteries and helps me to remember people to bring before Him. He also steadies me and gives me strength for the day.

The Catechism section on Prayer has a lot of good information and teaching on prayer.

Prayers in song - John Michael Talbot - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18

Now in one sense, I had always known that hymns and songs were prayers.  Especially when they were addressed to one or more members of the Holy Trinity.  Indeed some of my times of feeling closest to God were when I was singing hymns and spiritual songs.  The Apostle Paul mentions this aspect twice in his epistles in Ephesians 5,

^"18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, ²⁰ always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father."  (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)

and again in Colossians 3,

^"15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)

Notice that the Apostle Paul mentions this singing as ways to be filled with the Spirit and to have the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.

When it came to thanksgiving and adoration and praise to God I definitely needed help as I am pretty unimaginative in those areas when drawing upon my own limited resources.  I tend to be a "cup is half empty" kind of a guy.  I have also tended to assume that God was not very interested and involved in my life even though I intellectually/theologically/biblically knew better.

I had a great thirst for God to experience a deeper relationship with Him but I didn't have words to express it.  But coming into contact with John Michael Talbot, his music and his community, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity (Love) started changing that.  Many of his songs are actually ancient prayers put to music that are deeply personal and speak to God of our longings for Him.  One of them is the Anima Christi (Soul of Christ).  It is one of the prayers Catholics pray privately after receiving Holy Communion in the Mass.  It is as follows.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy wounds hide me.
Suffer me not to be separated from thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death call me.
And bid me come unto Thee,
That with all Thy saints,
I may praise thee
Forever and ever.
Amen.

John Michael Talbot's arrangement of this prayer is absolutely beautiful and I would sing it along with his CD, The Hiding Place.  There are other great prayers on that CD.

I also found the forum and chat room the Brothers and Sisters of Charity were operating at the time and participated in those.  I asked for the community to pray for me when I was suffering from ulcerative colitis and was in pain.

They answered me with a beautiful prayer that was just what my heart was longing for.  They prayed for my healing but they also prayed that if it was not God's will to heal me at that time that God would use my suffering redemptively in my life and the lives of those around me.  I began to think of my pain as a physical expression of my longing for Jesus and that made it easier to bear.

I also started watching EWTN, the Catholic Eternal Word Television Network.  I came across the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song early on Saturday mornings.  It is a video of the Chaplet being sung/prayed in a church by a trio and congregation.  It was so beautiful and really conveyed the love and mercy of Jesus to my heart.

The chaplet was part of a revelation of His mercy that Jesus gave to a poor Polish nun, Sister Faustina, in the early 1900s.  She was recently made a saint, Saint Faustina, by Pope John Paul II in the year 2000.

Next I will write about what I learned about prayer in the Catechism and how Jesus thirsts for us.

May God, our Father, and Jesus Christ, His Son, and the Holy Spirit draw each one of you deeper into the love that they have for you.

The Jesus Prayer - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18

The Episcopal/Anglican prayer books helped give structure and added substance to my prayers but they didn't keep me in prayer long enough to really go deep with God.  And so I kept searching and began to read about and look into Eastern Orthodox Christianity and spirituality.  It was there that I encountered the Jesus Prayer which goes, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."  It is basically the tax collector's prayer recorded in the Gospels but addressed to Jesus.  And Jesus said of the tax collector in Luke 18, "¹⁴ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (RSVCE)

It was a short prayer, easily memorized and it gave me hope.  As the Apostle Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." (NABRE)   And the writer of Hebrews says in Chapter 4,
^"14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. ¹⁵ For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sinning. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (RSVCE)

And I was glad I learned it because I had a period of time that lasted a few months where I could not focus on the Scriptures, the Accuser was assailing me, my fear was crippling and words for prayer fled me except for the Jesus Prayer which I had memorized.  I repeated it over and over until each onslaught passed.

One fear that used to trouble me a lot was the fear of death, particularly if I was far from home or in a big city.  I was afraid I would have heart attack and die alone at the side of the road in my car.  And I would have panic attacks which felt like heart attacks.  I came up with a prayer of my own for those times.  "Lord Jesus, I belong to you so whether I live or die, I will be okay."  And it worked.  The fear would almost always disappear.

Eventually, I was led to start checking out the Catholic Church through the prayers set to music by John Michael Talbot and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in song.  I will write about those next.

  

Beginning to pray using prayer books - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18

My first prayer book was a used Book of Common Prayer of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States of America which was ratified in 1789, certified in 1945 and given by a priest to a student in church school for perfect attendance in 1953.  I found it in a used bookstore down the street from where I worked in the late 1980s.  I still have it and use it occasionally.  Many of the prayers are in King James English but I was amazed at how a lot of the prayers expressed what I was feeling, what was on my heart, but for which I had no words of my own.  And there were prayers and Scripture readings for every Sunday, Morning and Evening prayers, prayers for various occasions and for different groups of people.  I was also made aware of things I could pray for that I hadn't considered bringing to the Lord before.

My prayer life still wasn't very consistent but it was better than before as I used the prayer book periodically.  I didn't memorize any of the prayers except the Lord's Prayer.

Also about that time, fear was really crippling me and I had an experience with Jesus speaking to me as I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom in the middle of the night feeling like I couldn't face the possibly of the many years stretching out before me in the line of work I was doing.  I felt alone and like no one knew how I felt.  Then Jesus spoke to me and told me that He knew how I felt and He reminded me of the great anguish He felt in the Garden of Gethsemane.  I realized then that I was not alone and that Jesus really did know how I felt.  I gained the courage and hope to continue on.  And I am still in that line of work to this day.

I also had a dream that I was supposed to look for a church with physical worship (kneeling, genuflecting, signs of the cross, etc.) and bishops.  The need for bishops was revealed to me.  So I started heading in a liturgical direction mainly interiorly and through reading up on the various churches.

Next I will write about the Jesus Prayer.