Now in one sense, I had always known that hymns and songs were prayers. Especially when they were addressed to one or more members of the Holy Trinity. Indeed some of my times of feeling closest to God were when I was singing hymns and spiritual songs. The Apostle Paul mentions this aspect twice in his epistles in Ephesians 5,
"18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, 20 always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father." (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
and again in Colossians 3,
"15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
Notice that the Apostle Paul mentions this singing as ways to be filled with the Spirit and to have the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.
When it came to thanksgiving and adoration and praise to God I definitely needed help as I am pretty unimaginative in those areas when drawing upon my own limited resources. I tend to be a "cup is half empty" kind of a guy. I have also tended to assume that God was not very interested and involved in my life even though I intellectually/theologically/biblically knew better.
I had a great thirst for God to experience a deeper relationship with Him but I didn't have words to express it. But coming into contact with John Michael Talbot, his music and his community, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity (Love) started changing that. Many of his songs are actually ancient prayers put to music that are deeply personal and speak to God of our longings for Him. One of them is the Anima Christi (Soul of Christ). It is one of the prayers Catholics pray privately after receiving Holy Communion in the Mass. It is as follows.
Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy wounds hide me.
Suffer me not to be separated from thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death call me.
And bid me come unto Thee,
That with all Thy saints,
I may praise thee
Forever and ever.
Amen.
John Michael Talbot's arrangement of this prayer is absolutely beautiful and I would sing it along with his CD, The Hiding Place. There are other great prayers on that CD.
I also found the forum and chat room the Brothers and Sisters of Charity were operating at the time and participated in those. I asked for the community to pray for me when I was suffering from ulcerative colitis and was in pain.
They answered me with a beautiful prayer that was just what my heart was longing for. They prayed for my healing but they also prayed that if it was not God's will to heal me at that time that God would use my suffering redemptively in my life and the lives of those around me. I began to think of my pain as a physical expression of my longing for Jesus and that made it easier to bear.
I also started watching EWTN, the Catholic Eternal Word Television Network. I came across the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song early on Saturday mornings. It is a video of the Chaplet being sung/prayed in a church by a trio and congregation. It was so beautiful and really conveyed the love and mercy of Jesus to my heart.
The chaplet was part of a revelation of His mercy that Jesus gave to a poor Polish nun, Sister Faustina, in the early 1900s. She was recently made a saint, Saint Faustina, by Pope John Paul II in the year 2000.
Next I will write about what I learned about prayer in the Catechism and how Jesus thirsts for us.
May God, our Father, and Jesus Christ, His Son, and the Holy Spirit draw each one of you deeper into the love that they have for you.
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