Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and our Colorado children, spouses/boyfriend (we consider them our kids, too) and our grandson will be coming over for dinner which I am looking forward to. I always enjoy our family times and I am thankful to God for them.
This morning at work for the college that it is my privilege to serve, one of our work study students brought me a sheet of colored construction paper and asked me to trace my hand on it and then write what I was thankful for on it and attach it to a construction paper turkey on the marker board in our hallway. Now I have to confess that I wasn't feeling particularly thankful to God at the time so it took me a while of pondering to come up with some ideas. And then I started feeling thankful to God for them as I thought about them. And so I have been mulling over thankfulness today.
Now the original Thanksgiving was declared to offer thanks to God for His provisions for them during some tough times.
But a lot of us have a hard time being naturally thankful to God, including me at times. It seems like lots of times we find it easier to blame Him. The Apostle Paul brings that up in his letter to the Romans chapter one as he is laying out God's list of grievances with mankind. In verse 21, he says "they did not honor him as God or give thanks to Him" NRSVCE. And I think it is this natural ingratitude towards God that is at the root of a lot of today's ills and much of our unhappiness.
But there is help for a naturally ungrateful cuss like me in the Scriptures, the prayers of the Church, the Psalms, the hymns and the spiritual songs (see Ephesians 5:15-20 and Colossians 3:12-17) and the Mass, which is one big prayer of thanksgiving.
I love the Mass. One of my favorite parts is in the Preface Dialogue where the priest says, "Let us give thanks to the Lord our God." And our response is "It is right and just." And then the priest launches into the Preface, "It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, always and everywhere to give you thanks, Lord, holy Father, almighty and eternal God, through Christ our Lord." And then the priest goes on to list a bunch of reasons why it is right and just to give God thanks, according to the liturgical season of the year. Notice that his prayer says that not only does God deserve our thanks but in the giving of thanks to Him, we find our salvation.
And I experienced that tonight as I was cleaning up the kitchen and these words from the Mass came back to me and I said them over and over to the Lord, my God. My heart became full of joy and peace and gratitude. I was renewed in heart and mind.
May you all have a blessed Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
The Knowledge and Experience of God - Both are needed.
This past Sunday my wife, Joan, and I were standing in Plum Creek Church singing Kristian Stanfill's song, One Thing Remains. It is an awesome song! I especially love the chorus which speaks of God's love for us, "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me...". Tears of joy and thankfulness were running down my face as we sang the song. Now this emotional response was triggered because the song resonated with both my knowledge and experience. Sometimes songs resonate with my longings for God and aspirations to be the man He wants me to be for His glory and for my fellow brothers and sisters who trod this globe with me.
As I was thinking about this song, the passage from John 5:39-40 was brought to mind where Jesus says in answer to His critics among His own people, "You search the scriptures, because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness to me; yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life." The Scriptures give us the knowledge/witness of Jesus but in order to really have life we need to come to Him. Jesus draws a distinction between the Scriptures and Himself. But it is not an either/or distinction but rather a both/and distinction. In other words, we need both. The knowledge (Scriptures and Creation (see Romans 1)) and experience (shared life together with (see John 17)) of God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
So how do we get both knowledge and experience of God? That will be the subject of my next post or two.
As I was thinking about this song, the passage from John 5:39-40 was brought to mind where Jesus says in answer to His critics among His own people, "You search the scriptures, because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness to me; yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life." The Scriptures give us the knowledge/witness of Jesus but in order to really have life we need to come to Him. Jesus draws a distinction between the Scriptures and Himself. But it is not an either/or distinction but rather a both/and distinction. In other words, we need both. The knowledge (Scriptures and Creation (see Romans 1)) and experience (shared life together with (see John 17)) of God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
So how do we get both knowledge and experience of God? That will be the subject of my next post or two.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Going on a prayer walk with Brother Owl
My wife and I moved to a new city to help our son and daughter-in-law take care of our new grandson. We are glad to be here for them but we did leave behind some special brothers and sisters in Jesus in our former city. We have found a couple of good churches here but haven't really made connections yet. I have become a Catholic Christian and my wife is a non-denominational Christian, hence the two churches but I go with my wife to her church in addition to mine. So far I am a lector (reader of Scripture) at my parish and I get to read about once a month. And we haven't gotten involved in any long term small groups yet.
So I have been feeling rather lonely without any Catholic brothers and sisters to share the journey with. I decided to start doing prayer walks at my Catholic parish, St. Francis of Assisi, after my wife went to bed. It is a beautiful church up on a ridge overlooking the valley below and you can see for miles, north and south. And, of course, it has a statue of St. Francis of Assisi in front of it who is famous for many reasons way beyond Catholic circles. One of the things he is known for is his solidarity with all of God's creation and creatures so if you see a statue of a monk with animals around him and birds on him you can safely guess that statue is one of St. Francis.
So my first night up there at dusk, I was walking around the church parking lot praying the rosary and offering up prayers for people I know and for our world in general. While I was at it, I talked to God about my loneliness. No sooner than I finished praying about that I hear an owl call and an owl comes swooping in and lands on a gazebo near me. For the rest of my prayer walk, as I moved around the parking lot and the church grounds praying, the owl kept flying and landing near me. Smiling, I thought how Franciscan God's answer to my prayer about loneliness was and I said, "Nice touch, God" and the ache in my heart receded. So I named the owl, Brother Owl, although it very well could have been "Sister Owl". A biologist I am not.
I truly am not alone even when I feel so.
So I have been feeling rather lonely without any Catholic brothers and sisters to share the journey with. I decided to start doing prayer walks at my Catholic parish, St. Francis of Assisi, after my wife went to bed. It is a beautiful church up on a ridge overlooking the valley below and you can see for miles, north and south. And, of course, it has a statue of St. Francis of Assisi in front of it who is famous for many reasons way beyond Catholic circles. One of the things he is known for is his solidarity with all of God's creation and creatures so if you see a statue of a monk with animals around him and birds on him you can safely guess that statue is one of St. Francis.
So my first night up there at dusk, I was walking around the church parking lot praying the rosary and offering up prayers for people I know and for our world in general. While I was at it, I talked to God about my loneliness. No sooner than I finished praying about that I hear an owl call and an owl comes swooping in and lands on a gazebo near me. For the rest of my prayer walk, as I moved around the parking lot and the church grounds praying, the owl kept flying and landing near me. Smiling, I thought how Franciscan God's answer to my prayer about loneliness was and I said, "Nice touch, God" and the ache in my heart receded. So I named the owl, Brother Owl, although it very well could have been "Sister Owl". A biologist I am not.
I truly am not alone even when I feel so.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
What I learned about friendship while meditating on the anguish of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Jesus knew the cruel ordeal he was about to face. Rejection, murderous rage, flogging, beatings, gleeful ridicule, mocking, searing pain, brutal labor and lingering, agonizing death and on top of it all becoming sin for us and nailing our sins to the cross. So Jesus goes to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray about it and takes his three closest disciples with him (Peter, James and John). It is apparent from the accounts in Matthew, Mark and Luke that Jesus desired them to join him in his prayer vigil, to keep watch with him and pray. Jesus was very troubled, in anguish, sorrow, anxiety, literally in "agonia". Luke records that Jesus sweat great drops like blood. The writer of Hebrews in chapter 5, verse 7, was probably alluding to this time when he says, "...Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death..." (RSVCE)
And what were Peter, James and John doing? Sleeping. Luke does add that it was for or because of sorrow. They were worn out. I'm sure they wanted to participate in the vigil but they couldn't, they didn't have it in them. And to make matters worse fear gets the best of them and they all flee when Jesus is arrested and Peter ends up denying he even knows Jesus three times.
And so as I was meditating on this, the thought came to me. And how did Jesus respond after these colossal failures on their parts? He didn't give up on them, he forgave them, he poured out the Holy Spirit on them and he entrusted his church to them. They were still his friends.
Now he already knew they were going to fail him in the time of his greatest need because he told them they would over their denials. In other words, he had realistic expectations. And yet, his realistic expectations didn't mean that he didn't share with them and give them the opportunity to come through for him. He invited them to keep watch with him. Nor did it mean that their failure didn't hurt Jesus. Because he chides them saying, "Could you not watch with me for one hour?" and "Why are you sleeping?".
Often we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses, our children, our families, our friends, our co-workers, our leaders and people in general. And we over-estimate our own faithfulness and strength. And so we tend to either write people off when they fail us or we never give them the opportunity to disappoint us by keeping them at a distance and not even inviting them to keep watch with us. We often expect people to be God for us. Jesus didn't and doesn't do that. He has realistic expectations, he still gives us new opportunities to join him and keep watch and he is still our friend, brother, Lord and Savior. And he knows how we feel. And his Father is still there for him and for us.
May Jesus help us to be like him.
And what were Peter, James and John doing? Sleeping. Luke does add that it was for or because of sorrow. They were worn out. I'm sure they wanted to participate in the vigil but they couldn't, they didn't have it in them. And to make matters worse fear gets the best of them and they all flee when Jesus is arrested and Peter ends up denying he even knows Jesus three times.
And so as I was meditating on this, the thought came to me. And how did Jesus respond after these colossal failures on their parts? He didn't give up on them, he forgave them, he poured out the Holy Spirit on them and he entrusted his church to them. They were still his friends.
Now he already knew they were going to fail him in the time of his greatest need because he told them they would over their denials. In other words, he had realistic expectations. And yet, his realistic expectations didn't mean that he didn't share with them and give them the opportunity to come through for him. He invited them to keep watch with him. Nor did it mean that their failure didn't hurt Jesus. Because he chides them saying, "Could you not watch with me for one hour?" and "Why are you sleeping?".
Often we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses, our children, our families, our friends, our co-workers, our leaders and people in general. And we over-estimate our own faithfulness and strength. And so we tend to either write people off when they fail us or we never give them the opportunity to disappoint us by keeping them at a distance and not even inviting them to keep watch with us. We often expect people to be God for us. Jesus didn't and doesn't do that. He has realistic expectations, he still gives us new opportunities to join him and keep watch and he is still our friend, brother, Lord and Savior. And he knows how we feel. And his Father is still there for him and for us.
May Jesus help us to be like him.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Where to start in praying - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
We can read about prayer until we are blue in the face but what really makes the difference is when we start talking to God the Holy Trinity on a regular daily basis. For me, I have to be honest, it started when I was received into full communion with the Catholic Church and entered the life of the Church including her prayers. To me, it was entering into a life and rhythm of prayer for the Mass, the liturgy, the Sacraments, the doctrines and all the other prayers and aids to prayer that are geared towards making my whole life a prayer in union with Jesus Christ and His Church. So the life of prayer in my experience is both private and corporate.
It was after I became a Catholic that I started praying the rosary where each day I meditate on the meanings of 5 events in the lives of Jesus and Mary and then apply those meanings to my life and my prayers. There are 20 events in total and they are grouped into 4 themes or characteristics. The events are called mysteries because their meaning is deep and there is always more to be discovered as God reveals them. Typically I am involved with God in prayer for an hour or more per day through this prayer as well as other prayers and the Mass.
I understand my Protestant brothers and sisters have difficulties with Mary because I used to have them myself. And the rosary is not the only prayer that one can use to help lead them into a habit of daily prayer talking and doing life together with God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
There are plenty of prayers in the Psalms and the Old and New Testament as well as hymns and spiritual songs and the prayers of our brothers and sisters to help us get started and provide a segue into our own prayers. There is a resource called the Liturgy of the Hours that combines all of these elements into various daily prayers to be prayed at different times throughout the day. There is also the prayerful reading of the Scriptures which the Catholics called the Lectio Divina which a lot of Protestants are now using.
My concern is to help people who are experiencing difficulties in moving from knowing a lot about God to actually knowing Him through a life of prayer. Why? Because I've been there.
So develop a plan of prayer using these resources that God has provided and begin your journey into His heart today. Please be aware that it will not be easy. As you are learning and memorizing prayers it will often seem tedious at first but that will begin to change if you turn your heart towards God as you pray them. Also be aware that the enemy of our souls and his hosts do not want us praying and so they will oppose us to try and stop us..
I will be praying for you. And I will try to post resources as I find and develop them.
May the Chief Shepherd of our souls lead you ever deeper into the love of God. Amen.
Please feel free to leave comments on my blog or to e-mail me at howardsdsu75@gmail.com if I can assist you in anyway as you develop a prayer life with God.
It was after I became a Catholic that I started praying the rosary where each day I meditate on the meanings of 5 events in the lives of Jesus and Mary and then apply those meanings to my life and my prayers. There are 20 events in total and they are grouped into 4 themes or characteristics. The events are called mysteries because their meaning is deep and there is always more to be discovered as God reveals them. Typically I am involved with God in prayer for an hour or more per day through this prayer as well as other prayers and the Mass.
I understand my Protestant brothers and sisters have difficulties with Mary because I used to have them myself. And the rosary is not the only prayer that one can use to help lead them into a habit of daily prayer talking and doing life together with God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
There are plenty of prayers in the Psalms and the Old and New Testament as well as hymns and spiritual songs and the prayers of our brothers and sisters to help us get started and provide a segue into our own prayers. There is a resource called the Liturgy of the Hours that combines all of these elements into various daily prayers to be prayed at different times throughout the day. There is also the prayerful reading of the Scriptures which the Catholics called the Lectio Divina which a lot of Protestants are now using.
My concern is to help people who are experiencing difficulties in moving from knowing a lot about God to actually knowing Him through a life of prayer. Why? Because I've been there.
So develop a plan of prayer using these resources that God has provided and begin your journey into His heart today. Please be aware that it will not be easy. As you are learning and memorizing prayers it will often seem tedious at first but that will begin to change if you turn your heart towards God as you pray them. Also be aware that the enemy of our souls and his hosts do not want us praying and so they will oppose us to try and stop us..
I will be praying for you. And I will try to post resources as I find and develop them.
May the Chief Shepherd of our souls lead you ever deeper into the love of God. Amen.
Please feel free to leave comments on my blog or to e-mail me at howardsdsu75@gmail.com if I can assist you in anyway as you develop a prayer life with God.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Prayer in the Catechism - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
Part 4 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Christian Prayer, begins with a startling revelation from John 4, the story of the woman at the well. I have included 2 paragraphs below.
2560 “If you knew the gift of God!” The wonder of prayer is revealed beside the well where we come seeking water: there, Christ comes to meet every human being. It is he who first seeks us and asks us for a drink. Jesus thirsts; his asking arises from the depths of God’s desire for us. Whether we realize it or not, prayer is the encounter of God’s thirst with ours. God thirsts that we may thirst for him.
2561 “You would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” Paradoxically our prayer of petition is a response to the plea of the living God: “They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water!” Prayer is the response of faith to the free promise of salvation and also a response of love to the thirst of the only Son of God.
The startling revelation for me was that God thirsts for us. I had never thought about God thirsting for us all, and especially not for me. Jesus thirsts for me that I might thirst for Him. God's love poured into my soul through this truth and I was lost in grateful wonder for a couple of hours. What an invitation to prayer! God passionately longs for us to come to Him.
No wonder that James states with such certainty in James 4:8, "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." And I have found this statement to be true, especially when I tarry before the Lord through prayers, like the rosary, that keep me in prayer. God shows up. He reveals things to me as I meditate on the mysteries and helps me to remember people to bring before Him. He also steadies me and gives me strength for the day.
The Catechism section on Prayer has a lot of good information and teaching on prayer.
No wonder that James states with such certainty in James 4:8, "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." And I have found this statement to be true, especially when I tarry before the Lord through prayers, like the rosary, that keep me in prayer. God shows up. He reveals things to me as I meditate on the mysteries and helps me to remember people to bring before Him. He also steadies me and gives me strength for the day.
The Catechism section on Prayer has a lot of good information and teaching on prayer.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Prayers in song - John Michael Talbot - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
Now in one sense, I had always known that hymns and songs were prayers. Especially when they were addressed to one or more members of the Holy Trinity. Indeed some of my times of feeling closest to God were when I was singing hymns and spiritual songs. The Apostle Paul mentions this aspect twice in his epistles in Ephesians 5,
"18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, 20 always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father." (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
and again in Colossians 3,
"15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
Notice that the Apostle Paul mentions this singing as ways to be filled with the Spirit and to have the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.
When it came to thanksgiving and adoration and praise to God I definitely needed help as I am pretty unimaginative in those areas when drawing upon my own limited resources. I tend to be a "cup is half empty" kind of a guy. I have also tended to assume that God was not very interested and involved in my life even though I intellectually/theologically/biblically knew better.
I had a great thirst for God to experience a deeper relationship with Him but I didn't have words to express it. But coming into contact with John Michael Talbot, his music and his community, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity (Love) started changing that. Many of his songs are actually ancient prayers put to music that are deeply personal and speak to God of our longings for Him. One of them is the Anima Christi (Soul of Christ). It is one of the prayers Catholics pray privately after receiving Holy Communion in the Mass. It is as follows.
Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy wounds hide me.
Suffer me not to be separated from thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death call me.
And bid me come unto Thee,
That with all Thy saints,
I may praise thee
Forever and ever.
Amen.
John Michael Talbot's arrangement of this prayer is absolutely beautiful and I would sing it along with his CD, The Hiding Place. There are other great prayers on that CD.
I also found the forum and chat room the Brothers and Sisters of Charity were operating at the time and participated in those. I asked for the community to pray for me when I was suffering from ulcerative colitis and was in pain.
They answered me with a beautiful prayer that was just what my heart was longing for. They prayed for my healing but they also prayed that if it was not God's will to heal me at that time that God would use my suffering redemptively in my life and the lives of those around me. I began to think of my pain as a physical expression of my longing for Jesus and that made it easier to bear.
I also started watching EWTN, the Catholic Eternal Word Television Network. I came across the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song early on Saturday mornings. It is a video of the Chaplet being sung/prayed in a church by a trio and congregation. It was so beautiful and really conveyed the love and mercy of Jesus to my heart.
The chaplet was part of a revelation of His mercy that Jesus gave to a poor Polish nun, Sister Faustina, in the early 1900s. She was recently made a saint, Saint Faustina, by Pope John Paul II in the year 2000.
Next I will write about what I learned about prayer in the Catechism and how Jesus thirsts for us.
May God, our Father, and Jesus Christ, His Son, and the Holy Spirit draw each one of you deeper into the love that they have for you.
"18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, 20 always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father." (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
and again in Colossians 3,
"15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition)
Notice that the Apostle Paul mentions this singing as ways to be filled with the Spirit and to have the peace of Christ rule in our hearts.
When it came to thanksgiving and adoration and praise to God I definitely needed help as I am pretty unimaginative in those areas when drawing upon my own limited resources. I tend to be a "cup is half empty" kind of a guy. I have also tended to assume that God was not very interested and involved in my life even though I intellectually/theologically/biblically knew better.
I had a great thirst for God to experience a deeper relationship with Him but I didn't have words to express it. But coming into contact with John Michael Talbot, his music and his community, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity (Love) started changing that. Many of his songs are actually ancient prayers put to music that are deeply personal and speak to God of our longings for Him. One of them is the Anima Christi (Soul of Christ). It is one of the prayers Catholics pray privately after receiving Holy Communion in the Mass. It is as follows.
Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus, hear me.
Within Thy wounds hide me.
Suffer me not to be separated from thee.
From the malignant enemy defend me.
In the hour of my death call me.
And bid me come unto Thee,
That with all Thy saints,
I may praise thee
Forever and ever.
Amen.
John Michael Talbot's arrangement of this prayer is absolutely beautiful and I would sing it along with his CD, The Hiding Place. There are other great prayers on that CD.
I also found the forum and chat room the Brothers and Sisters of Charity were operating at the time and participated in those. I asked for the community to pray for me when I was suffering from ulcerative colitis and was in pain.
They answered me with a beautiful prayer that was just what my heart was longing for. They prayed for my healing but they also prayed that if it was not God's will to heal me at that time that God would use my suffering redemptively in my life and the lives of those around me. I began to think of my pain as a physical expression of my longing for Jesus and that made it easier to bear.
I also started watching EWTN, the Catholic Eternal Word Television Network. I came across the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song early on Saturday mornings. It is a video of the Chaplet being sung/prayed in a church by a trio and congregation. It was so beautiful and really conveyed the love and mercy of Jesus to my heart.
The chaplet was part of a revelation of His mercy that Jesus gave to a poor Polish nun, Sister Faustina, in the early 1900s. She was recently made a saint, Saint Faustina, by Pope John Paul II in the year 2000.
Next I will write about what I learned about prayer in the Catechism and how Jesus thirsts for us.
May God, our Father, and Jesus Christ, His Son, and the Holy Spirit draw each one of you deeper into the love that they have for you.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
The Jesus Prayer - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
The Episcopal/Anglican prayer books helped give structure and added substance to my prayers but they didn't keep me in prayer long enough to really go deep with God. And so I kept searching and began to read about and look into Eastern Orthodox Christianity and spirituality. It was there that I encountered the Jesus Prayer which goes, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." It is basically the tax collector's prayer recorded in the Gospels but addressed to Jesus. And Jesus said of the tax collector in Luke 18, "14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (RSVCE)
It was a short prayer, easily memorized and it gave me hope. As the Apostle Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." (NABRE) And the writer of Hebrews says in Chapter 4,
"14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sinning. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (RSVCE)
And I was glad I learned it because I had a period of time that lasted a few months where I could not focus on the Scriptures, the Accuser was assailing me, my fear was crippling and words for prayer fled me except for the Jesus Prayer which I had memorized. I repeated it over and over until each onslaught passed.
One fear that used to trouble me a lot was the fear of death, particularly if I was far from home or in a big city. I was afraid I would have heart attack and die alone at the side of the road in my car. And I would have panic attacks which felt like heart attacks. I came up with a prayer of my own for those times. "Lord Jesus, I belong to you so whether I live or die, I will be okay." And it worked. The fear would almost always disappear.
Eventually, I was led to start checking out the Catholic Church through the prayers set to music by John Michael Talbot and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in song. I will write about those next.
It was a short prayer, easily memorized and it gave me hope. As the Apostle Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." (NABRE) And the writer of Hebrews says in Chapter 4,
"14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sinning. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (RSVCE)
And I was glad I learned it because I had a period of time that lasted a few months where I could not focus on the Scriptures, the Accuser was assailing me, my fear was crippling and words for prayer fled me except for the Jesus Prayer which I had memorized. I repeated it over and over until each onslaught passed.
One fear that used to trouble me a lot was the fear of death, particularly if I was far from home or in a big city. I was afraid I would have heart attack and die alone at the side of the road in my car. And I would have panic attacks which felt like heart attacks. I came up with a prayer of my own for those times. "Lord Jesus, I belong to you so whether I live or die, I will be okay." And it worked. The fear would almost always disappear.
Eventually, I was led to start checking out the Catholic Church through the prayers set to music by John Michael Talbot and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in song. I will write about those next.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Beginning to pray using prayer books - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
My first prayer book was a used Book of Common Prayer of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States of America which was ratified in 1789, certified in 1945 and given by a priest to a student in church school for perfect attendance in 1953. I found it in a used bookstore down the street from where I worked in the late 1980s. I still have it and use it occasionally. Many of the prayers are in King James English but I was amazed at how a lot of the prayers expressed what I was feeling, what was on my heart, but for which I had no words of my own. And there were prayers and Scripture readings for every Sunday, Morning and Evening prayers, prayers for various occasions and for different groups of people. I was also made aware of things I could pray for that I hadn't considered bringing to the Lord before.
My prayer life still wasn't very consistent but it was better than before as I used the prayer book periodically. I didn't memorize any of the prayers except the Lord's Prayer.
Also about that time, fear was really crippling me and I had an experience with Jesus speaking to me as I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom in the middle of the night feeling like I couldn't face the possibly of the many years stretching out before me in the line of work I was doing. I felt alone and like no one knew how I felt. Then Jesus spoke to me and told me that He knew how I felt and He reminded me of the great anguish He felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. I realized then that I was not alone and that Jesus really did know how I felt. I gained the courage and hope to continue on. And I am still in that line of work to this day.
I also had a dream that I was supposed to look for a church with physical worship (kneeling, genuflecting, signs of the cross, etc.) and bishops. The need for bishops was revealed to me. So I started heading in a liturgical direction mainly interiorly and through reading up on the various churches.
Next I will write about the Jesus Prayer.
My prayer life still wasn't very consistent but it was better than before as I used the prayer book periodically. I didn't memorize any of the prayers except the Lord's Prayer.
Also about that time, fear was really crippling me and I had an experience with Jesus speaking to me as I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom in the middle of the night feeling like I couldn't face the possibly of the many years stretching out before me in the line of work I was doing. I felt alone and like no one knew how I felt. Then Jesus spoke to me and told me that He knew how I felt and He reminded me of the great anguish He felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. I realized then that I was not alone and that Jesus really did know how I felt. I gained the courage and hope to continue on. And I am still in that line of work to this day.
I also had a dream that I was supposed to look for a church with physical worship (kneeling, genuflecting, signs of the cross, etc.) and bishops. The need for bishops was revealed to me. So I started heading in a liturgical direction mainly interiorly and through reading up on the various churches.
Next I will write about the Jesus Prayer.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
What written/memorized prayer can do - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
As I sought to learn how to pray I found I had 5 main obstacles to prayer. They were as follows.
1) Too narrow a definition and understanding of prayer.
2) Distractions which caused my mind to wander from prayer.
3) Temptations which I turned to instead of God in prayer.
4) Satan's paralyzing attacks of intimidation, accusation and projections and the resulting anxiety.
5) My scrambled, disconnected interior life or soul - I had disconnected from my emotions so I was unable to discern what was going on within. Hence it was hard to open up and find words for what I was feeling and why.
I didn't know about all of these obstacles to start with but have become aware of them over time as God revealed them to me through various Christian traditions and my brothers and my sisters in Christ past and present who were much more advanced in the way of prayer than me.
Anyway I am going to give you a summarized conclusion and then write about some of the milestones/Aha! moments along the way in my journey. By the way I have experiences with God more often now but my relationship with God is not dependent on them. They are gifts of grace for which I am thankful but I don't try to cling to them because I have the Giver who is always present with me. However, I may not feel that presence. But it doesn't matter because I know the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are here.
Basically, it has been the written/memorized prayers that have revolutionized my prayer life and that God is using to address all of the obstacles above.
Have I arrived? No, definitely not. As the old saying goes, the more you know, the more you know you don't know.
Do I still pray in my own words? Yes, in fact, I can pray much more easily and effectively now because the written/memorized prayers keep me in touch with God long enough to work out my internal knots and they prime the pump so to speak. And actually, I don't think of them as the words of others. They have become my words and they often express what is going on inside, what I am feeling, my hopes, my fears, my aspirations and so on much better than my own words and more in line with God's will.
What about intercessory prayers for others? You all are getting prayed for much more than you used to.
And best of all, God has become more of a present living reality to me and in my life and less of an abstraction.
So if this sounds interesting to you, stay tuned...
Did you know that Jesus thirsts for you and that God desires our prayer times with Him much more than we do?
1) Too narrow a definition and understanding of prayer.
2) Distractions which caused my mind to wander from prayer.
3) Temptations which I turned to instead of God in prayer.
4) Satan's paralyzing attacks of intimidation, accusation and projections and the resulting anxiety.
5) My scrambled, disconnected interior life or soul - I had disconnected from my emotions so I was unable to discern what was going on within. Hence it was hard to open up and find words for what I was feeling and why.
I didn't know about all of these obstacles to start with but have become aware of them over time as God revealed them to me through various Christian traditions and my brothers and my sisters in Christ past and present who were much more advanced in the way of prayer than me.
Anyway I am going to give you a summarized conclusion and then write about some of the milestones/Aha! moments along the way in my journey. By the way I have experiences with God more often now but my relationship with God is not dependent on them. They are gifts of grace for which I am thankful but I don't try to cling to them because I have the Giver who is always present with me. However, I may not feel that presence. But it doesn't matter because I know the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are here.
Basically, it has been the written/memorized prayers that have revolutionized my prayer life and that God is using to address all of the obstacles above.
Have I arrived? No, definitely not. As the old saying goes, the more you know, the more you know you don't know.
Do I still pray in my own words? Yes, in fact, I can pray much more easily and effectively now because the written/memorized prayers keep me in touch with God long enough to work out my internal knots and they prime the pump so to speak. And actually, I don't think of them as the words of others. They have become my words and they often express what is going on inside, what I am feeling, my hopes, my fears, my aspirations and so on much better than my own words and more in line with God's will.
What about intercessory prayers for others? You all are getting prayed for much more than you used to.
And best of all, God has become more of a present living reality to me and in my life and less of an abstraction.
So if this sounds interesting to you, stay tuned...
Did you know that Jesus thirsts for you and that God desires our prayer times with Him much more than we do?
Friday, March 27, 2015
Prayer is not as easy as we think - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
We are exhorted in the Scriptures to pray unceasingly and in everything. And we see many examples of people who prayed continuously. Jesus, Daniel and his friends, the Apostle Paul, David (Look at all his psalms), John, Acts 6 mentions that the apostles were devoting themselves to prayer along with the ministry of the word. Everywhere you look in the Bible people are either praying or being exhorted to pray. Why? Because our relationship with God consists of prayer and we can support each other in our everyday life battles and advance the kingdom of God in prayer.
But let us ask ourselves, how is our prayer life with God, really? I am not trying make anyone or myself feel guilty, let's just be honest. That's really the only way to begin to change is to embrace the truth. About 25+ years ago, I had to ask myself that question because my spirituality or lack thereof wasn't cutting it. Oh, I knew my Bible chapter and verse and my doctrine and theology and I had asked Jesus into my life when I was 20. But I wasn't really talking to God very much and I wasn't really depending on Him that much to handle life. We weren't doing life together. And I couldn't seem to make myself pray. I mean why pray when you can worry!
So I started searching, investigating the various Christian movements, denominations, revivals and so on throughout church history. I was looking for the key that would make Howard pray. When I started I think I was looking for an experience with God that would zap me, revolutionize my prayer life and set me on fire. What I discovered was a way of prayer rather than a spiritual experience. Spiritual experiences are wonderful things but either you have them or you don't and they don't seem to change most people for very long in most cases. Just look in the Scriptures and church history, if you don't believe me. Just look honestly at our own lives.
Back to the way of prayer I discovered and it's not new by the way, it's been around for millennia. Are you ready? They are called written or memorized prayers. They are called psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. And yes, the prayerful reading of Scripture is prayer, God speaking to us. And yes, even the liturgies in churches are prayers. And yes, the Sacraments are prayers and guess what we can live a life of prayer. And there is more, much more.
What's wrong with extemporaneous prayers aka praying in our own words? Absolutely nothing. In fact, we better be praying those too. But if you are like me, I am pretty unimaginative and I am tongue-tied and wound up inside, a bundle of inexpressible feelings. So if I could last 5 minutes, I was doing good! Oh yeah! Not enough! I was going down!
Besides there is one more thing we need to realize is that we have a spiritual mortal enemy of our souls who doesn't want us praying and he and his minions do whatever they can to disrupt our prayers.
Is that a ham and cheese sandwich in the refrigerator that I hear calling my name? I wonder what is on the morning news? Oh man, I am dreading what I have to face today. They are called distractions and temptations and they don't always originate with us.
More later, folks.
But let us ask ourselves, how is our prayer life with God, really? I am not trying make anyone or myself feel guilty, let's just be honest. That's really the only way to begin to change is to embrace the truth. About 25+ years ago, I had to ask myself that question because my spirituality or lack thereof wasn't cutting it. Oh, I knew my Bible chapter and verse and my doctrine and theology and I had asked Jesus into my life when I was 20. But I wasn't really talking to God very much and I wasn't really depending on Him that much to handle life. We weren't doing life together. And I couldn't seem to make myself pray. I mean why pray when you can worry!
So I started searching, investigating the various Christian movements, denominations, revivals and so on throughout church history. I was looking for the key that would make Howard pray. When I started I think I was looking for an experience with God that would zap me, revolutionize my prayer life and set me on fire. What I discovered was a way of prayer rather than a spiritual experience. Spiritual experiences are wonderful things but either you have them or you don't and they don't seem to change most people for very long in most cases. Just look in the Scriptures and church history, if you don't believe me. Just look honestly at our own lives.
Back to the way of prayer I discovered and it's not new by the way, it's been around for millennia. Are you ready? They are called written or memorized prayers. They are called psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. And yes, the prayerful reading of Scripture is prayer, God speaking to us. And yes, even the liturgies in churches are prayers. And yes, the Sacraments are prayers and guess what we can live a life of prayer. And there is more, much more.
What's wrong with extemporaneous prayers aka praying in our own words? Absolutely nothing. In fact, we better be praying those too. But if you are like me, I am pretty unimaginative and I am tongue-tied and wound up inside, a bundle of inexpressible feelings. So if I could last 5 minutes, I was doing good! Oh yeah! Not enough! I was going down!
Besides there is one more thing we need to realize is that we have a spiritual mortal enemy of our souls who doesn't want us praying and he and his minions do whatever they can to disrupt our prayers.
Is that a ham and cheese sandwich in the refrigerator that I hear calling my name? I wonder what is on the morning news? Oh man, I am dreading what I have to face today. They are called distractions and temptations and they don't always originate with us.
More later, folks.
Prayer - For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
Jesus came and accomplished all He did on earth, including His death, in order to lead us to God. As He says in the following passage,
John 14
1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. 2 In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. 4 Where [I] am going you know the way.” 5Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (NABRE - New American Bible Revised Edition)
Jesus says that He has gone to prepare a place for us in the His Father's house
and that we know the way. He is the way. So we need to follow Him to find our way to the Father's house. And how did Jesus stay in touch and in tune with His Father while on earth? Through prayer. In the Gospels we find Him praying frequently. Some passages just say He went off to pray while other passages record His prayers to His Father.
Reading 2 from last Sunday says of Jesus in Hebrews 5.
John 14
1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. 2 In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. 4 Where [I] am going you know the way.” 5Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (NABRE - New American Bible Revised Edition)
Jesus says that He has gone to prepare a place for us in the His Father's house
and that we know the way. He is the way. So we need to follow Him to find our way to the Father's house. And how did Jesus stay in touch and in tune with His Father while on earth? Through prayer. In the Gospels we find Him praying frequently. Some passages just say He went off to pray while other passages record His prayers to His Father.
Reading 2 from last Sunday says of Jesus in Hebrews 5.
7 Who in the days of his flesh, with a strong cry and tears, offering up prayers and supplications to him that was able to save him from death, was heard for his reverence.
8 And whereas indeed he was the Son of God, he learned obedience by the things which he suffered:
9 And being consummated, he became, to all that obey him, the cause of eternal salvation.
Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition (DRA)
Jesus went to His Abba, His Father in prayer and that is what He wants us to do.
And that is what was missing in my life and what I couldn't make myself do with any regularity. And I was running around looking for a daddy who could help me face the scary things of life, trying to fill the void with all kinds of substitutes, even though I believed in God and was a Bible-believing evangelical Christian. And the main reason I was doing this is because prayer is our relationship with the God, the Holy Trinity. As it says in the opening paragraph 2558 of Part Four Christian Prayer in the Catechism of the Catholic Church,
“Great is the mystery of the faith!” The Church professes this mystery in the Apostles’ Creed (Part One) and celebrates it in the sacramental liturgy (Part Two). so that the life of the faithful may be conformed to Christ in the Holy Spirit to the glory of God the Father (Part Three). This mystery, then, requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the living and true God. This relationship is prayer.
And I have found and am finding this to be true in my journey with and to God. And God has provided the way into a life of prayer, which is the relationship with Him. God becomes real, rather than ethereal and theoretical, through prayer. And I needed prayers that kept me in prayer and opened me up to God and Him up to me. Jesus gave his disciples and us the Lord's Prayer, or the Our Father in Catholic lingo as one example of basic prayer.
More later... May God bless you and draw you ever deeper into His heart of love.
More later... May God bless you and draw you ever deeper into His heart of love.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
For Christ also suffered for sins once ... that he might lead you to God. 1 Peter 3:18
That is the point of the whole gospel. A restored relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. We are naturally estranged from God and ignorant of His great love for us and desire for relationship with us. We often think or have thought of Him as our enemy even though we are continuously and restlessly searching for something that will fill our longing, thirsting, hungry souls.
The partial verse above was part of the New Testament reading for this 1st Sunday in Advent. I am a lector (reader) at my parish and this was my assigned reading. So I have been living with the passage for the past week. The full reading is 1 Peter 3:18-22.
How do we come to God? Well, the verse above says that Jesus will lead us to Him. That is why He came and became one of us. Jesus told Thomas in John 14:6, "I am the way and the truth and the life." We come to God by trusting in Jesus and following Him. And there are various access points, means or channels of grace that Jesus has provided for us to enable us to do just that and connect with Him, the Son, as well as the Father and the Holy Spirit.
The access point I wish to write about at this time is prayer and what I have learned in my journey. Stay tuned.
The partial verse above was part of the New Testament reading for this 1st Sunday in Advent. I am a lector (reader) at my parish and this was my assigned reading. So I have been living with the passage for the past week. The full reading is 1 Peter 3:18-22.
How do we come to God? Well, the verse above says that Jesus will lead us to Him. That is why He came and became one of us. Jesus told Thomas in John 14:6, "I am the way and the truth and the life." We come to God by trusting in Jesus and following Him. And there are various access points, means or channels of grace that Jesus has provided for us to enable us to do just that and connect with Him, the Son, as well as the Father and the Holy Spirit.
The access point I wish to write about at this time is prayer and what I have learned in my journey. Stay tuned.
Monday, January 19, 2015
The Roadmap
Here is an edited excerpt from a response I posted on a forum that I participate in.
I am a convert to the Catholic Church after being an evangelical Protestant for 36 years. I was a lay Bible teacher and preacher for many of those years. I was received into the Church in 2010. One of the reasons I became a Catholic was I was looking for a "roadmap" into the heart of God, the Holy Trinity. And I found the roadmap in the Catholic Church. I was looking for results in the form of a growing relationship with the living God and I am finding it happening in me by grace as I follow the roadmap provided by and in the Catholic Church as intended by her founder, Jesus Christ, who loves us and gives Himself for us. Now the journey is a life-long one but now I have the map to keep me close to Jesus along the way.
So what is this map? Well, you are already discovering some of it, the Mass, instruction and encouragement via EWTN and books (including the Bible), sharing with the people on this forum. But there is more, so much more, the rest of the Sacraments, the sacramentals such as prayer cards, paintings, statues, holy water, prayer books, the communion of the saints and more.
Where I really needed help was in the area of prayer. I knew a lot about God through knowing the Bible but I really didn't know how to pray well or for very long. My spiritual imagination was stunted. I was distracted easily. Much of my prayer was unformed and uninformed.
But the disciples had to ask Jesus to teach them to pray and He didn’t seem to think it was a dumb question and so He gave them the “Our Father” ("The Lord’s Prayer" in Protestant circles). Prayer is vital and essential to our spiritual well-being.
In paragraph 2558 of the Catechism, it says, “Great is the mystery of the faith!” The Church professes this mystery in the Apostles’ Creed (Part One) and celebrates it in the sacramental liturgy (Part Two). so that the life of the faithful may be conformed to Christ in the Holy Spirit to the glory of God the Father (Part Three). This mystery, then, requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the living and true God. This relationship is prayer.
My search led me to the Catholic Church and I have not been disappointed. In the prayers of the Church, I found a roadmap to a rich prayer life which has centered on the rosary but also includes many other prayers as well.
I am a convert to the Catholic Church after being an evangelical Protestant for 36 years. I was a lay Bible teacher and preacher for many of those years. I was received into the Church in 2010. One of the reasons I became a Catholic was I was looking for a "roadmap" into the heart of God, the Holy Trinity. And I found the roadmap in the Catholic Church. I was looking for results in the form of a growing relationship with the living God and I am finding it happening in me by grace as I follow the roadmap provided by and in the Catholic Church as intended by her founder, Jesus Christ, who loves us and gives Himself for us. Now the journey is a life-long one but now I have the map to keep me close to Jesus along the way.
So what is this map? Well, you are already discovering some of it, the Mass, instruction and encouragement via EWTN and books (including the Bible), sharing with the people on this forum. But there is more, so much more, the rest of the Sacraments, the sacramentals such as prayer cards, paintings, statues, holy water, prayer books, the communion of the saints and more.
Where I really needed help was in the area of prayer. I knew a lot about God through knowing the Bible but I really didn't know how to pray well or for very long. My spiritual imagination was stunted. I was distracted easily. Much of my prayer was unformed and uninformed.
But the disciples had to ask Jesus to teach them to pray and He didn’t seem to think it was a dumb question and so He gave them the “Our Father” ("The Lord’s Prayer" in Protestant circles). Prayer is vital and essential to our spiritual well-being.
In paragraph 2558 of the Catechism, it says, “Great is the mystery of the faith!” The Church professes this mystery in the Apostles’ Creed (Part One) and celebrates it in the sacramental liturgy (Part Two). so that the life of the faithful may be conformed to Christ in the Holy Spirit to the glory of God the Father (Part Three). This mystery, then, requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the living and true God. This relationship is prayer.
My search led me to the Catholic Church and I have not been disappointed. In the prayers of the Church, I found a roadmap to a rich prayer life which has centered on the rosary but also includes many other prayers as well.
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