Why did I become a Catholic? The Longer Version Part 4 Becoming a closet Catholic while being a practising Methodist.

It was actually in Central Oregon that I started to consider the Catholic Church.  My wife and I really like John Michael Talbot's music.  And so I decided to go to the Catholic Church for an Easter Mass at 5:30 or 6:00 am.  I got to the Catholic Church about 30 minutes early so I could "case the joint" as they say.  ;-)  I was nervous and felt like I was breaking a 500 year old taboo which I was.  A Protestant entering forbidden territory.  At the same time, I was thinking this is ridiculous.  How events 500 years ago that I had no part in could have such a powerful hold on me.

So I got out and began to walk towards the doors of the church.  I got about halfway there, got cold feet, retreated to my car, regrouped and tried again.  This time I made it three quarters of the way before I went back to the car.  On the third try, I made it through the doors and seated myself towards the back on the right hand side of the church.  I enjoyed the Mass and could follow along somewhat being familiar with the Anglican rite which follows a similar pattern.  Afterwards I just left and went home.

One of the things that I was finding intriguing about the Anglican, Eastern Orthodox and Catholic churches were all the aids to prayer they provide.  From my Christian tradition, one was supposed to just talk to God in one's own words.  However, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray and He didn't act like they were dummies for doing so.  Instead, He gave them the Lord's Prayer (Protestant) or the Our Father (Catholic) as it is called.  Even the Apostle Paul admits in Romans 8:26 that we (he includes himself here) don't know how to pray as we ought so the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words.  I have had many periods in my life where I was mostly speechless when it came to prayer.  We should also pray in our own words but sometimes we are speechless and clueless or we need the pump primed and the written prayers help.  They are a means or channel of grace.

Also I did pick up the Jesus Prayer from the Eastern Orthodox, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” while in Central Oregon.  That would come in handy in Colorado.

Okay, back to Colorado.  I mentioned that when we moved we decided to go to the Methodist Church because we liked the pastor and the congregation.  I also liked the Methodist origins, a movement founded by the Wesley brothers, John and Charles, and their friend, George Whitefield, who had their hearts strangely warmed by God and became powerful Spirit-filled preachers.  They were Anglican ministers and I know at least the Wesleys remained so until they died.  But eventually the revival movement separated from the Church of England both in Britain and America.  We became very involved there, teaching Bible studies and Sunday School classes, participating in and leading prayer meetings.  I became a lay speaker providing pulpit supply for out-of-town pastors.  I became aware of the Upper Room ministry in the Methodist church and the Walk to Emmaus which have Catholic influences in them.  We continued to buy and listen to John Michael Talbot CDs.

But the real change towards the Catholic Church for me was due to getting connected to the internet and seeking out Catholics to fellowship with on the web.  When I first got on the web, John Michael Talbot's community, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, had a chat room and forum that I started participating in.  I met friends there that I have to this day.  I was still suffering from ulcerative colitis at the time and one night I requested prayer by the community and their response really touched my heart.  They said, "Howard, we will pray that God will heal you of the colitis but we will also pray that if it is not His will to heal you at this time that He will help you to bear it and will use it redemptively in your life and the lives of those around you."  I thought, "Wow, that is exactly how I wanted to be prayed for!   But I couldn't have come up with the words if I tried."  Then a Catholic deacon in Arkansas who I met on the forum invited Joan and I to come visit him and his wife for a weekend.  He was also a winemaker.  We took him up on his offer and we had a wonderful time visiting with them.  We toured their winery and vineyards as well as a nearby monastery where we got to meet some of the brothers.  We concluded the weekend by attending Mass at the rural church where he served.  It was a lively church, packed with people of all ages.  And we both liked it but I really loved the Catholic spirituality.

I also discovered the Catholic Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN) on the web and started watching their Catholic programs, especially The Journey Home with its host, Marcus Grodi.  Each week Marcus would interview converts from many different backgrounds and reverts (former Catholics who had left and were now returning to the Church) and have them tell the conversion/reversion stories.  Many of the converts were evangelical Protestant pastors and lay people.  It was fascinating to hear their stories, the hardships they endured in their conversions  and the blessings they had experienced during and after their conversions.  How it had drawn them closer to Jesus.

I sent EWTN a donation and they sent me a Catechism of the Catholic Church and other Catholic materials which I began to read and use.

All for today.  May God bless you and draw you ever closer to His loving heart.